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i wish i had a time machine

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There are very few things that beat the feeling of hearing a song you used to love after a while of forgetting it even existed. The only feeling that may be better than that would be how you felt when you heard the song for the very first time. 

I created a playlist of songs I wish I could hear for the first time again. Some of the songs were childhood favorites; songs that my parents would play in the car and around the house. Some of them were songs that I blasted in my headphones when I was supposed to be paying attention in school. Some of them were the songs that introduced me to entirely new genres of music. 

Most of these songs kept me afloat when I was certain I was sinking.

I scrolled through my entire music library, looking for songs that I’d ask the time machine to take me back to. The songs that came into my life right on time. These are some of the songs that have shaped the person I am today. While this certainly isn’t my most cohesive playlist (it’s honestly all over the place), it is definitely the most impactful playlist I’ve made in quite some time. Music has been one of the most important pieces of my life for as long as I can remember. Even in the darkest times, I can always remember being able to rely on good music to get me through any roadblock standing in my way. So, being able to create a playlist to remind me of what music has done for me has been an overwhelmingly positive experience. 

Now, there are over 30 songs in my playlist, but I want to specifically mention a few that stood out from the rest. 

  1. “Nights”- Frank Ocean (Blond): The first time I heard this song, it felt like I was floating away from this earth. I’ve always loved Frank Ocean, so when I listened to Blond for the first time, I figured I would probably enjoy most of the songs on the album, but I did not expect to have such an other-worldly experience while listening to this song. Frank describes the feelings this song brought on for me in the background vocals of the breakdown, “this feels nirvanic”. I remember feeling like my body was vibrating as the bridge introduced a new beat halfway through the song. I’ve listened to this song over a thousand times since I first heard it, and it still hits the same every single time. There aren’t many songs I would call perfect, but I would absolutely say that “Nights” is a perfect song.
  1. “Killing Me Softly With His Song”- Fugees (The Score): I can’t recall the very first time I heard this song because it was played regularly by my parents in my early childhood, but the sound of Lauryn Hill’s voice on this track has always brought me peace. Maybe I like it so much because it reminds me of my childhood and simpler times. Regardless, each time this song plays in my headphones, I can clearly picture 7-year-old me sitting in the backseat of my Dad’s car bobbing my head and swaying along with the music. This song led to  Lauryn Hill becoming one of my favorite artists of all time, and I am reminded of her greatness every time it comes on. 
  1. “Cranes in the Sky”- Solange (A Seat at the Table): I cried the first time I heard this song, and most of the other times I heard it since then. I have always felt incredibly moved by the vulnerable lyrics and deep percussion of “Cranes in the Sky”. When I first listened to this song, I’d been subconsciously pretending to be stronger than I actually felt and I’d started to feel crushed by the weight of the burdens that were on my shoulders. Hearing this song felt like a reminder to drop my shoulders after a long and tense day. As my shoulders dropped, so did the tears that I’d been holding back for far too long. I found myself replaying this song over and over, letting go of more tension each time. Sometimes starting it over before even reaching the end of the song. The relief I felt in my spirit after hearing this song for the first time is something I will never forget. 

Think back to the first time you heard your favorite songs: Can you remember where you were? What were you doing? What was going on in your life? How had you been feeling leading up to that moment? Did you get goosebumps? Did it make you cry? Was it so good you couldn’t stay still? Did you keep it on repeat for weeks? Did you share it with as many people as possible or keep it as a hidden gem for yourself? Did you deepdive into that artist’s discography? How did you/your life change after you heard it for the first time? 

I challenge you to create your own “time machine” playlist. Go through your music library and create a playlist of songs you wish you could go back and hear again for the very first time. Try not to worry about making it cohesive, you want it to be as raw as possible. Once you’ve made the playlist, grab your speaker or headphones and listen to it all the way through (shuffle your  playlist to add a little razzle dazzle). What memories come back to you as you listen? Make note of the way you feel as you stroll through memory lane. Which of these feelings would you like to feel more often? Which of these feelings are you glad will be over when the next song starts? 

You can use this as a way to bring past you and present you together in harmony. Who doesn’t love a moment of nostalgia every once in a while? 

If you want to check out my playlist “i wish i had a time machine”, you can listen on Apple Music & Spotify!

Hope you enjoy 🙂

concept inspo: joey <3

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